Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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