After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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