I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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