drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
