if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
