3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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