I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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