I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My penis needs a shock collar
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
