Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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