Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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