WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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