omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
