think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
