I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
