Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
