You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
