Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Come on in and take your pants off
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