I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
