The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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