I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
