He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
