People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
