hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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