Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
