haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
