i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
