i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I love you. Go after that dick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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