sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just googled if crying burns calories
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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