i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
