nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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