I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
