Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
