walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
