and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
