There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
