In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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