seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
