You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
