he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
