he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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