I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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