therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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