I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
