What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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