I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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