I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
