i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
