i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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