Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
