Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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