Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
